The Beast

I grow my own veg. At the moment I've got parsnips, broccoli and brussel sprouts in my veggie patch. The parsnips have been in for a very long time and the foliage has taken over a lot of the space! They swamped my poor leeks, causing them not to grow. Well, I'm going to blame the parsnips anyway.

I wanted the parsnips for Christmas. Apparently they taste better after a frost, but my mum wanted some for a roast on Sunday. So I went out there to pull some up...

The first one I pulled up was a decent size, the second was deformed with split roots. The third was sitting next to The Beast.

This is the biggest parsnip I've ever seen in my life. And this is coming from someone who's been to shows where they have giant vegetables. I watered the ground to make it soft and then pulled out the little one (which was still pretty big) next to it.

Then I spent a very long time trying to pull up The Beast. I didn't want this thing to break so I had my hands up to my wrists in the ground, covered in wet, cement-like mud. I broke the smaller roots with my fingers, used a trowel to clear some of the earth and then just pulled until the bloody thing came up.

I've been in pain since. But it was worth it. Lookit!

18" long, 14.5" round.

Minced Frog

This is an old blog, taken from my Myspace page. Lazy? Yes.

Our garden was like a jungle. Weeds as tall as I am. Ok, I know I'm short but still, I'd say that's some impressive lazy gardening!

My mum refused to sit out there until it was sorted. I quite liked it all wild and jungle-esque. Especially the bee bush and the butterfly bush. Not so keen on the flying-ant paving step though.

So today we called on the garden man to come and sort it out for us. Took him a while but it's all sorted and looking lovely now. I've just realised how big our garden is!

The grass is. . . kinda brown now. And there's been no less than six ant nests uncovered. One big fat slug. One snail that's been through the mower. A baby bird (alive) and, the best part. . .

A minced frog! Now I was quite pleased with my discovery of the minced frog. If it didn't look so nasty, and I had a spade to hand, I would've scooped it up to show the whole family! As it was, with no spade to hand, I had to let my mum and brother know by describing it to them from across the garden. Kinda macabre, but I'm sure they loved it!

"Come and look at this frog!" I'm yelling excitedly like a hyper child. "It's been had by the mower, come and look!"

My mum tells me that she doesn't want to look at it. (Why not?!) And that she doesn't want to hear about it. (Crazy!)

"It's got a leg missing and everything!"

By this time mum's moved round the garden a bit, (she's inspecting garden man's work) and comes so very close to the minced frog.

I'm grinning inanely now. I really want to pick up this frog and show people. . .

"Look at its leg!" I'm just trying to share my joy with my mum, nothing wrong with that? She tells me to shut up. Charming. "You're gonna step on it!"

She looks. She groans. She doesn't share my morbid fascination.

My brother arrives. I give him a tour of the ants nests and show him the baby bird. We agree that it's fat and it's a robin.

"There's a frog too, come see!" So I lead him first to the mangled snail (got to start off slow, work up to these things) and then,

"Look!" I point. Wait for my brother's reaction.

He grins. "Gross!"

I nod, pleased. And return to the house.

Green Fingers

Back in May, I was watching Gardener's World and they were giving away free seeds. I can't resist free things so I sent off for some. They came a little while later and now I'm really into my gardening!

I'm growing tomatoes, butternut squash, beetroots, peppers, sweetcorn and lettuce. Though the lettuce is dead now. I've also bought my seeds ready for next year and am considering getting one of those mini greenhouses to grow my seedlings in. (This year they littered the windowsill in the kitchen...)

I also like houseplants, especially weird or unusual ones! I have an orchid, that I bought for £2! (Love a bargain!) But it requires surgery. Apparently I have to sterilise some scissors, cut off a leaf, and then seal the cut with cinnamon powder. I haven't tried it yet...

My newest plant is a bromeliad. A massive purpley pink guzmania. Tis prettyful!